In Focus

its pretty ridiculous coming back here. The people who read my journal talk to me regularly anyway, so I don't see the point, tell me whats going on in your lives directly, I prefer that to reading a journal, its more personal, and I'll do the same.

But as a last ranty post I'll end it with a few words of frustration, My mom still hasn't emailed me back about the apartment, time is ticking and that apartment deal is going to be gone. Brian is sleeping down here tonight, even though its a weekend and him and claire are waking up at the same time. Meaning Matt and I are thrown out onto the futon, with no chance of any privacy whatsoever, he'll probably sleep down here again tomorrow just to spite us. I can't wait until we move in together, or at least until I have my own room with a bigger bed.

The End. Adios, Au Revoir, Auf Wiedersehen, Shalom, Goodbye

My mom is making things really difficult for this summer. She pretty much said that I have to pay for everything on my own, yet I don't even have enough in my bank account to cover even one month's rent, let alone tuition, food, utilities, and all that jazz. I'm of course going to get a job but she's being a little ridiculous. I'm staying up here and going to school, completing a class over the summer so that I don't get bumped into a 5th year in school.

Yes, I'm staying because Matt's staying, and yes, I am trying to avoid her. I understand that that second statement gives her legitimate grounds to not support me, and I've resolved myself to paying for everything. But I need some sort of help, she can't just throw me out into the cold hard world. She has a problem with the fact that I'm staying because Matt will be there, I can't help that I'm in love, last summer was miserable, in miami and beech mountain because he wasn't there. I'm sorry that I can't very easily live without him. Its not like I'm not going to Miami at all, I promised that I'd be back at the end of the semester, when it was logical for me to leave boone.

I sent her an email with all of my plans laid out and all of the dates she needed to know. I asked her for the financial help that I need but I haven't gotten any reply. I found an apartment but what if someone makes the commitment to the girl before I can know if I'll be able to pay? All because my mom can't grasp the fact that I don't live in Miami anymore, and I can't tear myself away from this place.

Wait until I tell her that I'm moving in with Matt...whenever it is. There's a slight(i say that just in case I'm disappointed) chance that I could move in with him next year, as in august, as in 2007. Not only that but the rent that we'd be paying would be in the form of landscaping and general outdoor maintenence of the large property of matt's boss's house. This compared to the 410 a month I would be paying(rather my mom). She can't say no to that. Thats over 4800 a year she'd be saving.

So thats my rant. The end.

I figured I would tweak my journal a little bit so I changed my icon to one of my recent photos and changed some of the colors to match it. I think it looks quite nice. by the way I forgot if I gave the link to my new site or not, but my class got a free website compliments of livebooks to use as an educational tool. So if you'd like to view the awesome of the awesome from my pictures, just hop onto www.tecstudio153.com and go to my name under photographers.


In other news my brother set up his day with my mom, aunt, and uncle who are coming down to boone tomorrow and also to blowing rock which is right by here. They obviously planned it without me in mind even though I said I'd be there because they'll be arriving at 10:30 am and guess who has a class at 11 and doesn't get out until 1. You guessed it! me. I don't really care that I'm not going because I didn't really want to but its the principle right? I mean my mom bitches about me not participating and all that shit but huzzah! look why.

My mom's in town. Enough said.

So tonight at dinner there was a wait so the girl asked for a last name and we both said Johnson, and the same girl ended up being our waitress and she was like oh I remember you guys at the door you're the Johnsons. And when she left I grinned and said "she thinks we're married". I never thought I'd say this ever but that makes me a bit giddy inside, I like the idea.

So where was I? Oh Raven stealing Coughdrops...i mean cough drop stealing ravens! Those guys knew how to open zippers! So anyway yea, it wasn't fun having such a sore throat while I was out in the GRAND CANYON supposed to be having fun. The last day was definately the worst, I was feeling horrible and we had to hike 7 miles all of the way up from the tonto out of the canyon. We started at around 4:30 in the morning. Now 7 grand canyon miles is completely different than any other 7 miles. I don't know why, but its more like 10 or so miles.

Even though I was sick, the trip was still incredible. The first night we stayed in a campsite that used to be an actual town. A tram would come down and there were toilets and everything, what remains is a lot of broken plates and glass, a really sketch looking toilet, and a storage room that is now used as a ranger's house. The real campsite was technically a lot further, but that first night we saw so many tents over there, and we were so tired, we decided that this was close enough and a ranger would most likely not come.

The next day was a lot easier than the first. It was about 1 and a half miles to Hermit Rapids, all along this really nice creek. When we got there, though, there was no shade whatsoever. The only relief was under the cliff on our campsite and under some trees by the creek. When we got over to the campsite areas my aunt said to me that there was a real "private" campsite somewhere closeby that matt and i should take. I love being treated like that. Its a little annoying when its scandelous to be sleeping next to my boyfriend of a year and a half. Like everyone is pretending that we're just friends with the label of a couple. I was kind of pmsing that day and Brian was planning on staying in the same campsite as us, but obviously after what my aunt had said I was kind of liking the idea of having just a little bit of privacy with my boyfriend, not as if we could do anything "scandelous". I ended up getting really mad at both of them and brian spent the night by the river close to my aunt and uncle.

After that we hiked out across the tonto(the part of the canyon that looks like its flat(its not really) and its desert with a lot of cacti and crazy looking palmy things) to monument creek. No shade there either and we hung out by the creek for relief. There was this awesome rockslide sort of waterfall that we sat on top of and just chilled until I got cold and the shade had almost hit our campsites. We were spending 2 nights at this campsite so the next day we planned on dayhiking down to granite rapids by way of this creek that ran through a canyon.

That morning I was definately sick. I looked and felt it and almost didn't go with them to the rapids, but that would have sucked, so I went. Hiking through that canyon was awesome. We literally had to use the rocks on either side of the creek to lift ourselves off the ground to avoid taking any unwanted swims. When we got out of the canyon, though, it was hot and there was no shade and we were walking along a dry creekbed. We passed some rafters who had been waiting years for a permit and they were camping right before the rapids. When we got to the rapids i set up my thermarest pad and slept the day away. Before we left I got to see some kayakers getting ready to run the rapids, but I missed the rafts going down and I never got to see the other side of the rapids.

The next day we'd be hiking back across the tonto to that first campsite by that town. Part of this trail was really scary and I pretty much refused to go further at some parts unless Matt was holding my hand. I'm not afraid of heights like my aunt is, I'm just afraid of falling and not being able to stop myself sliding for a long time through a lot of cacti. I'm not into trails that lean towards the lowerside. When we got to the campsite we decided to stay in the same place as we did before so we could start early and get out of there quicker. This time a ranger did come by, but luckily he said it was fine that we were camping there. We started up at 4:30 am and got up the cathedrel stairs(crazy ass steep part of the trail) right as the sun was coming up. Everyone says that going up takes a lot longer and is a lot harder than going down but for our group at least it was the opposite. You have a lot more control of your balance going up, and between me not liking those slidey parts and my aunt not liking heights, it took us a little while going down and not nearly as much time going up...not that it was any easier for me drinking more water than I needed to so that I was peeing every 5 minutes. Going to the bathroom in the canyon had to be the worst part. There's just absolutely no privacy in the canyon. Yea you can go behind a rock, but people can still see you on that side. Not to mention some of the lookout points have those binocular thingies. I can just imagine people looking through one, seeing me pee, and going "look mommy that person is peeing!!!" I never got "walked in on" but it definately was not my favorite part of the trip, I like peeing in the woods much better. By the end of the trip though, I didn't care, you could walk right by me while i'm peeing and i'd probably just be like hi!!! It was a little more difficult when we were almost at the top cause there were a lot of day hikers who wouldn't understand the concept of having to pee right off the trail, but I was sick, and I had to go, so there was no stopping me ;).

At the end of the trail I was pretty much ready to just sit right down and stop going. I was almost out of water and they kept saying it was just right over there, but every switchback we took, the end was nowhere in sight. And then Brian showed up just up the trail, wearing only his platypus and i was like TAKE THIS THING and he said "Thats what I came for" and he carried my pack the rest of the way, and I still barely made it back up. But I did.

I know this post has gone on but I haven't even begun to talk all about the trip. The canyon is amazing, when we flew into las vegas we flew right over it, and its like there's no one bit of flat land, and when you think about the fact that you're going to be backpacking in there, it feels a little hopeless, like how the hell do you walk and find your way around something like that? We joked that the grand canyon was where the asteroid hit and wiped out all of the dinosaurs. I got a lot of pictures(not nearly enough) and they're good, but they don't even begin to capture the immensity of the canyon.

You can find them at www.tecstudio153.com just go to my name under photographers and you can check out all of my other pictures also.

It has been a while. I haven't written because my last posts weren't getting any comments except from the loyal Zut. I figured a dramatic reentrance would harvest a satisfactory number of posts and they will dwindle away and I will disappear again and it'll be a trend. Because I'm a comment whore. Thats right.

So anyway, over spring break I went to the grand canyon for 6 days backpacking. It was awesome awesome awesome. I was sick by the 3rd day to later find out it was a virus. I thought it was just allergies. My throat was hurting like mad because there was absolutely no humidity and the only thing i had to help it was water. My aunt had some cough drops but on that day 3 when i was just starting to get sick, our campsites were attacked by super genius ravens who could open zippers and they STOLE the cough drops. I swear on my life this is true.


....I'm gonna finish this post later

Boo

So I went with matt to work so that I could get some pictures of the 40 foot waterfall on the guy's property. The pictures will be on photobucket soon. So to make a long story short my big ass view camera thats not actually mine is broken and later that night I pretty much got walked in on by my brother. The. End.

(2 Points) My first name:
(1 Point) My last name:
(5 Points) Take a stab at my middle name:
(3 Points) Who was my first celeb-crush:
(2 Points) Where do I live:
(3 Points) What am I afraid of:
(2 Points) Do I smoke:
(3 Points) Do I drink:
(3 Points) How many siblings do I have:
(2 Points) Do I have children:
(2 Points) Do I get along with my parents:
(4 Points) What's one of my favorite things to do:
(2 Points) How many piercings do I have:
(3 Points) What's my favorite type of music:
(4 Points) What's my favorite TV show:
(3 Points) What's my favorite animal:
(2 Points) What's my favorite color:
(3 Points) Name something I hate:
(4 Points) Name a talent I have:
(4 Points) What kind of shoes do I wear:
(4 Points) Do I have any pets:
(2 Points) Who am I dating right now:
(5 Points) What am I studying in school:
(5 Points) What is the color of my room:
(4 Points) What are my political views:
(3 Points) What's my religion:
(5 Points on creativity) If I were stranded on a desert island, what would I bring:

Its really strange how when the girls are just not apt to be nice to you, the guys are nicer than ever. All of the guys in our group -- scott and josh and kollin and kevin and such, they all now smile and say hi to me. The one that took me aback the most was scott, I walked out of my door and from all the way down the hall scott goes HI HALLIE! and scott and I have this joke that I'm intimidating cuase he's really really tall so usually I act mean and he acts scared but lately its all smiles. I like nice people.

One guy that hasn't been nice though is my brother. He and claire were fighting yesterday and it made me sad, and the bitchyness was all on brian's side, claire didn't do anything. He woudln't give her a hug! So I was like just give her a hug and he looks at me and is like YOU stay out of this its not your place and its not your apartment. Well its Matt's apartment too, I'm not sure if he forgot about that. But then claire and brian went into the bedroom and had a talk and they came out and claire was like its ok we're not fighting anymore, and that was that.

On a lighter note, Math was cancelled today!! So I'm gonna take a nice shower and just chill out until noon.

Lately I'm just not feeling the love anywhere. For some reason it seems like people will go out of their way to not hang out with me, or they're mad at me for something I'm not aware that I did. I'm sorry if I haven't pleased everyone in the past week its pretty much a matter of a shit ton of work. I'm probably just paranoid though. I mean I take stupid things as clues to the "yea we're not inviting you cause you annoy us" routine. Like last night Sarah, Matt(not mine), Megan, and Bobby went on a double date and Megan and Sarah set up the whole date while I was there and no one even thought to suggest making it a triple date. And I mean I don't care, Matt doesn't like dressing up for dates anyway, and he wouldn't have made it home in time...but why not ask anyway? And then on friday I asked megan if she could swing by Holton with me so I could turn in my lease forms and she was like no I have too many tests next week I have to study and then maybe an hour later Sarah comes in and asks if she wants to run with her and she's like YEA! And ok...running is good for your health, but going to Holton wouldn't have taken very long, and then she decided that she -did- want to go to Old Navy like I had also asked earlier but of course it was too late to swing by Holton. Oh well. I'm silly and paranoid, I think a break is much needed and soon. Yay for thanksgiving!

I'm depressed for no good reason except hormones. I hate this feeling, I'll cry about anything and everything. And I miss Matt, weekends frustrate me because he has to work, and I have nothing to do. Next semester I'm getting a weekend job. I need to go turn in my prelease forms for next year's apartment but I have no one to take me.

my mom agreed to let me stay in a studio apartment next year. I'm going to the realty hopefully tomorrow to turn in my prelease form and hopefully I'll get one of them, preferably the one thats right near brian and matt's apartment. The end.

So at the beginning of this semester, about the end of august, I ordered the B-Sides from World Without Sundays, with a special request for autographs. So by this time I just figured my order got lost and figured when i had some money in my account again I'd order it again. Yesterday I find myself in the post office with a notice of a package in my hand. Sure enough, its my world without sundays, complete with all but one signature from Grecco, who has been out of town. So I figure when I go to LA I'll chill out with WWS and get mah Grecco signature. The CD is amazing, I would suggest everybody buy it. I rocked out to it while developing film yesterday. And it was really crazy cause on the counter next to the cd player, was a Decemberists cd. I had also had a crazy urge to wear my WWS shirt earlier that day...so I was all good musiced out and it was nice. And it makes my hopeless photography situation less stressful cause I'm happy even if I know I'm going to fail. By the way those pictures will be up on my photobucket within the hour.

So I don't know how I seriously thought I would be able to room with matt next year. I'm dillusional and in a dreamworld. So really I have no place to go next year. I am not spending another year in a dorm. Kenzie and Megan tried to find a 4 bedroom and they'll probably search some more but all of the places are far from campus and not near appalcart routes, and even if I do get my license, which I better, I won't have a car. Plus that still leaves matt sol. I hate social laws, why can't people just be logical and economical instead of being all stuck in the dark ages where if a couple is living together and not married they're automatically sluts.

So my allergies are getting worse, probably partly to do with the weather change, and I didn't have any sudafed on me because I was sleeping at Matt's last night. So I chugged some benedryll and went to sleep in a drugged stupor. You know how you get when you're in drug enduced sleep...nothing matters, and nothing really makes sense. So there I am, sleeping, and the door opens, and I kinda wake up and I'm just thinking that its Justin and there's this guy standing in the doorway and in my drugged state I didn't find this weird. Then Matt goes "can I help you?" and this guy is like "can I crash here tonight?" and of course matt went "no" and this guy seriously fought with him on this "why not?" "because I don't know you" "come on man let me crash here tonight I'll pay you" "no I don't want your money" "Come on man how much do you want so I can crash here" "I don't want anything, you can't crash here" and the guy seriously kept this up for 5 or 10 minutes and of course at this point I'm not in a drugged stupor anymore and I'm like wondering whats gonna happen next. But finally the guy leaves. So 5 minutes later Matt goes outside and finds Justin and they're talking about the weird guy and he apparently walked all of the way into Katie and Lauren's apartment, opened Lauren's door, turned on the light and turned it off and then stood in the hallway. Its really lucky Justin was there or who knows what would have happened? Then Matt went upstairs to make sure Claire's door was locked and finally came back to sleep, but it was a while before I could do that. I don't know what Lauren and Katie do, but normally the door is locked in Matt, Brian, and Justin's apartment, but sometimes it gets overlooked because Justin's generally in and out. But anyway, waking up at 7:30 was a very difficult feat but here I am, and I'm about to go to math lab.

I'm glad Matt woke up, I would never have noticed anything weird, that guy probably would have fallen asleep on the floor and I woudln't have noticed until the morning...or worse. There are characters on King Street thats for sure. This is why I make such a big deal about Megan locking the door at night, stuff crazier than that happens in dorms, there was an instance, quite possibly in this very room, where a guy tried to crawl into the window in the middle of the night, and I won't even get into the worse stuff, but yea, lock your door at night, keep the crazies out.
It was also freezing this morning, whereas yesterday was hot. I didn't have the right clothes but I DID have an extra pair of jeans...so those went on...and I was pretty much ok walking to class and back to my dorm...but for this class I'm prepared.

AAAAH such an amazing band. Of course, Matt and I were late because Atlantas roads are SCREWY and we got lost. But finally we found the Tabernacle and the place was packed already. We found a place to stand on the first balcony where there were seats but a security guard was like you can't stand there, so we made our way up to the second balcony and found seats in the front row but we had to lean forward the whole time to see the band. The show was amazing, his voice really is that awesome in real life. They played several songs off of Picaresque, and a few from their new album. The Picaresque songs included Engine Driver, We Both Go Down Together, and 16 Military Wives in the Encore. 16 Military Wives was really fun, he grabbed someone's cell phone and played around with it for like 3 minutes and then all of the sudden he puts it to his ear like he's called somoene and starts singing again. Then, he made the audience to the lade da de de da de doodeedadeeda in sections and of course I was screaming it at the top of my lungs. I swear he looked at me at least 3 times during the show, I was really one of the only people in the top balcony going nuts. At one point in the show he grabbed a polaroid camera from a guy in the front row and started taking pictures of the audience and band members until he ran out of film, I wish I was that guy. I'm kinda sad I didn't bring my camera, but oh well, next time I won't forget ;).

I've finished both the 5 page essay and my portion of the powerpoint due tomorrow, so I'm gonna go to sleep nice and early tonight.

So I'm chopping this thing up for the benefit of your friends pages.

Wednesday Matt and I drove down to Atlanta to spend the night. We went to REI and picked up my sleeping bag. Its pretty, I'm excited. We spent some time in REI and gawked at all of the gear we know we need but can't afford.

We got up bright and early and made our way to Florida. Ah Florida...it was so warm. I have now officially had the free orange juice given at Florida Welcome Centers, it was lovely. Everyone on the trip ended up staying at the same campsite in the same little area, so it was really convenient. We picked up all of our gear that night and were asked to meet up at 8 in the morning.
( Friday's dive wasn't particularly the greatest time I've ever had )
( Saturday I gave a Manatee a backscratch )
( There was this really sketch trail we went on )

( When we got back... )

( Oh sand fleas )

Overall the trip was amazing, and I'd love to be back in florida now. Sophomore year is beating the shit out of me, especially photography, I'm so tired of the stupid view camera, especially now that we have to work on the architecture project, architecture bores me, i'm not inspired. I usually find I don't have enough time to get any of these assignments done and still do well in my other classes. But as soon as the architecture assignment is done I can work mostly on the computer and not have to rely on the lab hours.

I'm going to see the DECEMBERISTS this weekend. That is all..thank you and goodnight